Job despite his physical and emotional toil being compounded with the folly of his three freinds (Job 19:1-23)could say this:
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me (Job 19:25-27)!"
For the first time today in last 3 weeks in working through my anxiety it feels as if the dark cloud hanging over my head is beggining to move. This comes after days following and before last Wednesday of outright despair and turmoil. Thats not to say that I'm now all of a sudden out of the clear. God sent me a timely reminder of an old chorus I used to sing as a kid at church:
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.Because He lives, All fear is gone.Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives."
"I know that my Redeemer lives..." is reason enough I can face what may come my way. I don't know what tomorrow will bring nor should I. I don't know how long it will take until this inner turmoil will continue. The fact that "my Redeemer lives" not only gives me hope but reason to rejoice.
Towards the end of the book of Job, Job never asks God why but repents for speaking out of turn. Yet before repenting he says the most incredible thing: "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."
The things I don't know (the why, the how long, the therefores) has been the biggest comfort to my troubled soul. "Because I know he holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives."
-Lloyd
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Self Doubt is Driving my Angst!
Rough, rough week. Whirlwind of emotions experienced in a space of three days. Never imagined that my acute general anxiety appeared this daunting. Its as if I could quote the Psalmist verbatum, "My soul is weary with sorrow...(Psalm 119:28)."
I have learned valuable lessons this week. His mercies are fresh and are "new every morning (Lam 3:22-23)." Upon reading Oswald Chambers devotional on Matt 5:3,
"The bedrock in Jesus Christ's kingdom is poverty, not possession; not decisions for Jesus Christ, but a sense of absolute futility - I cannot begin to do it. Then Jesus says - Blessed are you. That is the entrance, and it does take us a long while to believe we are poor! The knowledge of our own poverty brings us to the moral frontier where Jesus Christ works."
Broken , I must come to Jesus. His invitation spoke to me so loudly. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matt 11:28-30)."It is here in in this place that I'll begin to learn, trust, discover and experience the strength and work of my Saviour. Jesus did not end his obligation to me on the cross. He did something far greater than that. He put Himself in me. Becoming my righteousness (1 Cor 1:30).
Finally I must look to His Word! Psalm 119:28; "strengthen me according to your word." For this will be my comfort. "Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this:Your promise preserves my life (Psalm 119:49-50)."
Hearing the opening lines of the poem, At the Gate of the Man of the Year by Minnie Louise Harkins:
" I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year; 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied,'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God; That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!' " Buried in a deep dark place I am reminded to trust God to guide my path.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path... I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word (Psalm 119:105,107)." I pray.
-Lloyd
I have learned valuable lessons this week. His mercies are fresh and are "new every morning (Lam 3:22-23)." Upon reading Oswald Chambers devotional on Matt 5:3,
"The bedrock in Jesus Christ's kingdom is poverty, not possession; not decisions for Jesus Christ, but a sense of absolute futility - I cannot begin to do it. Then Jesus says - Blessed are you. That is the entrance, and it does take us a long while to believe we are poor! The knowledge of our own poverty brings us to the moral frontier where Jesus Christ works."
Broken , I must come to Jesus. His invitation spoke to me so loudly. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matt 11:28-30)."It is here in in this place that I'll begin to learn, trust, discover and experience the strength and work of my Saviour. Jesus did not end his obligation to me on the cross. He did something far greater than that. He put Himself in me. Becoming my righteousness (1 Cor 1:30).
Finally I must look to His Word! Psalm 119:28; "strengthen me according to your word." For this will be my comfort. "Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this:Your promise preserves my life (Psalm 119:49-50)."
Hearing the opening lines of the poem, At the Gate of the Man of the Year by Minnie Louise Harkins:
" I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year; 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied,'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God; That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!' " Buried in a deep dark place I am reminded to trust God to guide my path.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path... I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word (Psalm 119:105,107)." I pray.
-Lloyd
Sunday, July 11, 2010
What a month!
I was so looking forward to the Fifa World Cup 2010 in South Africa and it is no more. Where has all the time gone. Four years of waiting has flown by in an instant. Watching soccer 24/7 for a month was awesome. Now what do I do with myself?
Despite the drama, the heartbreaks, the controversies...
so proud to be South African. SA delivered the Fifa World Cup with flavor and style.
Looking forward to receiving a Vuvuzela in the mail :P!
What will the impact of World Cup2010 be? I don't know. I hope for a lasting and positive legacy for this beautiful country I call home.
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