"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it but because by it I see everything else." C.S. Lewis-Is Theology Poetry?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Knowing a Little Means Alot
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me (Job 19:25-27)!"
For the first time today in last 3 weeks in working through my anxiety it feels as if the dark cloud hanging over my head is beggining to move. This comes after days following and before last Wednesday of outright despair and turmoil. Thats not to say that I'm now all of a sudden out of the clear. God sent me a timely reminder of an old chorus I used to sing as a kid at church:
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.Because He lives, All fear is gone.Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives."
"I know that my Redeemer lives..." is reason enough I can face what may come my way. I don't know what tomorrow will bring nor should I. I don't know how long it will take until this inner turmoil will continue. The fact that "my Redeemer lives" not only gives me hope but reason to rejoice.
Towards the end of the book of Job, Job never asks God why but repents for speaking out of turn. Yet before repenting he says the most incredible thing: "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."
The things I don't know (the why, the how long, the therefores) has been the biggest comfort to my troubled soul. "Because I know he holds the future, And life is worth the living just because He lives."
-Lloyd
Friday, July 23, 2010
Self Doubt is Driving my Angst!
I have learned valuable lessons this week. His mercies are fresh and are "new every morning (Lam 3:22-23)." Upon reading Oswald Chambers devotional on Matt 5:3,
"The bedrock in Jesus Christ's kingdom is poverty, not possession; not decisions for Jesus Christ, but a sense of absolute futility - I cannot begin to do it. Then Jesus says - Blessed are you. That is the entrance, and it does take us a long while to believe we are poor! The knowledge of our own poverty brings us to the moral frontier where Jesus Christ works."
Broken , I must come to Jesus. His invitation spoke to me so loudly. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matt 11:28-30)."It is here in in this place that I'll begin to learn, trust, discover and experience the strength and work of my Saviour. Jesus did not end his obligation to me on the cross. He did something far greater than that. He put Himself in me. Becoming my righteousness (1 Cor 1:30).
Finally I must look to His Word! Psalm 119:28; "strengthen me according to your word." For this will be my comfort. "Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this:Your promise preserves my life (Psalm 119:49-50)."
Hearing the opening lines of the poem, At the Gate of the Man of the Year by Minnie Louise Harkins:
" I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year; 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied,'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God; That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!' " Buried in a deep dark place I am reminded to trust God to guide my path.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path... I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word (Psalm 119:105,107)." I pray.
-Lloyd
Sunday, July 11, 2010
What a month!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
So Five Years
I never knew 5 years on the depth of His Grace. Health, Should have been killed in a car accident, anxiety disorder...I thought many a time I've reached a breaking points and He is has shown me that all I need is Him. God alone is enough. I can rest in Him, knowing that whatever comes. He will get me through.
Psalm 73:25-26
"Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strenght of my heart
and my portion forever."
-Lloyd
Friday, December 18, 2009
Another Great Movie About South Africa
Invictus. Great movie. I had my doubts that the movie would not capture the importance of the '95 Rugby World Cup. The social nuances depicted in the film realy told the story of a nation. Rugby is more than just a game. Clint Eastwood certainly did his homework.
I am always weary of an American recounting the history of another country that is not America. Its fact that some Americans cannot identify themselves on a world map. Don't believe me, click here. This isn't all surprising to me, after all, even freindly Canadians refer to Africa as a country. For the record. Africa is a continent not a country!!!
So the odd things I remember that day. The air of enthusiasm in the press and on the street. I arrived from a family vacation spent in Hong Kong (was then an independent state), Singapore and Thailand. Arriving the morning of the day of the World Cup Final. When Joel Stransky landed that drop goal, man, I tried to imitate his drop kick with my grandmothers cushions.I knocked out a vase filled with flowers as a result of my shabby reinactment of the most pivotal moment of the match. I'm glad to tell you that the vase did not break, it fell on a very soft carpet. I watched on tv not just a stadium of spectators singing "shosholoza," seeing a team and a captain full of delight but also the President expressing his joy on the stage for all to see. Dad driving me home, seeing people walking by, with more than just smiles on their faces.
The real stength of this movie was not just its portrayal of the World Cup, Rugby, the Team or even the stunning Morgan Freeman performance of Nelson Mandela. No. The story of a birth of new country, beginning to leave behind the shackles of a bloody and painful past. I read a review from the CBC, implying that film maybe "largely superficial" but not "dishonest." What???
Born and bread South African. I was living there at the time. Seeing events unfold before my very eyes. Beating the world's best team at the time, 15-12 was anything but a mere cliche. And yes the depictions of all rugby games are accurate. As a kid I watched the world cup final more than 30 times, thrice watching South Africa journey from the start of the tournament to the finish. A game of rugby is 80 minutes long; f.y.i.! Invictus is well worth the watch.
-Lloyd
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Times of Trial
I feel tired, yet I'm blessed to have friends that challenge me, encourage me and carry me when my eyes are half open. For the first time, in a long time I'm beggining to love university, my studies after three years. Though there have been many bumps, bouts of anxiety, depression and hardship. Why now have I begun to enjoy school in so far incedent free semeester?
Three words: God's gracious provision.
Lam 3:19-23; Jeremiah begins with this in the midst of a lament, "I remember my affliction and my wandering." So often I think of those trials and remeber how faithful God was towards me. Just about everytime I reached my breaking point during trying times. Charles Sprugeon once remarked in a sermon:
"Yet, trials can prove a wonderful work of God in us. I have often looked back to times of trial with a kind of longing, not to have them return, but to feel the strength of God as I have felt it then, to feel the power of faith, as I have felt it then, to hang upon God's powerful arm as I hung upon it then, and to see God at work as I saw him then."
So I say with Jeremiah, "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope... ," and I find myself left with an ending to proclaim."Great is Your Faithfulness." Oh God, your mercies are new every morning, they are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness.
-Lloyd
Friday, August 14, 2009
District 9
On a personal note it was a reminder to an era in South Africa that my parents had to endure growing up for much of their lives. For I was only born at the back end of that period of history. My gratitude is to God for not only for a transformation of country but also for the fine parents I have been given.The sacrifices they have had to make and endure so that I can have the hope of a better life. They lived in a time when opportunities existed to a select few. Education, work opportunities were a priviledge,not a right. I have to make use of the oppotunities God has afforded me.
What left a sour taste, is the contemporary situation. The zenophobic attacks of the last year that targeted foreign immigrants but 15 years on in new a democracy, there are fellow South Africans still living in informal settlements, no housing, electricity and water... a sad reflection on a beautiful country, I call home.
-Lloyd
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Two Timely Timeless Reminders
The Steven Curtis Chapman and Michael W Smith Concert in Kelowna that took place two weeks ago was amazing, better than expected and gave me two timely reminders. They are two veteran artist whom I have long admired while growing up as a teen.
Steven Curtis Chapman reminded me a timely reminder number one. In the midst of tradegy of losing one of his adopted daughters last year before playing Cinderalla (It was hard enough not to sob when he played it, tears were pouring down like rain) he quoted Luther. "There are two days to live for. There is today and then there is that day. We live today in the hope of that day." It was very humbling, to witness a popular contemporary artist like Chapman sharing his loss and on going struggles with all of us. The song Cinderalla that I'd alluded to earlier was based on evening that Steven had shared with his late Marie Sue. Live each day God has given us in the hope of that day, when there will be "no more tears, no more suffering for the old order of things have past away."
Seeing Michael W Smith likewise for the first time also reminded me the value of corporate worship. Prior to the concert I was a little cynical, its going to be one of those concerts artist come, artist go, the show is over (Some of the misguided arguments people make about contemporary christian music).
Timely reminder number 2, the value of corporate worship within a church, be it hymns or contemporary worship songs. I happen too love both. A member of the sons of Korah, Psalm 42:4 in the midst of depression or dispair:
"These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng."
Worshipping corporately alongside brothers and sisters who I do not personally know also reminded me of a new song that will we all sing together on that day. "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth."
Revalation 14:1-5
"Then I looked, and there before me was the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads. And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of rushing waters and like a loud peal of thunder. The sound I heard was like that of harpists playing their harps. And they sang a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and the elders. No one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they kept themselves pure. They follow the Lamb wherever he goes. They were purchased from among men and offered as firstfruits to God and the Lamb.No lie was found in their mouths; they are blameless."
-can't wait Lloyd
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Each Day Has its Troubles
" Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I have been struggling for the 9 months in dealing with generalized anxiety disorder and getting a handle on it. God in his provision and grace, over the last month and a bit is helping me to abide in Him as my refuge and strength to confront my sin. I'm currently reading John MacArthur's book, "Anxious for Nothing." It's been a great encouragement to me and I'd like to share a small portion.
"Today is all you have, for God permits none of us to live in tomorrow until it turns into today." He then quotes Jay Adams.
"Tomorrow always belongs to God.... Whenever we try to take hold of it, we try to steal what belongs to Him. Sinners want what is not theirs to have, and thereby destroy themselves. God has given us only today. He strongly forbids us to became concerned about what might happen....Worriers not only want what has been forbidden, but also fail to use what has been given to them."(Observing How God Cares for You, pg 31)
Though I'm not clearly over my own anxiety yet, one thing is for sure. I have the confidence and assurance from a King and Savior who never changes. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." I have a Father who never changes His mind nor lies like a man but who graciously provides for His children. Therefore, each day must handled on its own. In the words of Jeremiah,
Lamentations 3:19-26
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
-Lloyd
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Godliness with Contentment
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we bring nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
Why should I not chase suppossed "needs" of a regular student, When Paul says "if we have food and clothing , we will be content with that."
Paul Overstreet (don't know who he is, heard this in a sermon by Alistar Begg) wrote a song:
I've heard tell of millionaires
And of billionaires and such
Who gathered all their treasures
And still did not have enough
If money could buy peace of mind
I guess they'd have it all
But all the money in world
Won'nt hold when you fall
Chorus: We've got a roof over our head
And the kids have all been fed
The woman I love most
Lies close beside me in our bed
Loed give me the eyes to see
Exactly what it's worth
And I will be the richest man on earth
Lord I when I wish I had the things
That you gave someone else
I pray that you'll forgive me
For just thinkin' of myself
I haven't been as thankful
As I know I ought to be
I should be more satisfied
With all you've given me...
Jesus spoke about clothes and food along the same lines as Paul.
Matt 6:31-32,
"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall I we eat?' or 'What shall we drink' or What shall wear?' For the pagan runs after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need."
My Heavenly Father knows what I need. My real needs, I might add. After all in the very next verse I'm told in Matt 6:33, to seek His kingdom, His righteousness and all these things will...Why? My Father's provision is sufficient, therefore I can rest in Him.
Why did my covetous student heart not see this all important truth?
-Lloyd
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Its Cold, Sweet and Well Worth the Wait!
Hmmm...that was one fine ice cream cake. Never been a big fan for cake on birthdays, its never to late to change. All good things will come to pass but there still leftovers for tommorow, Thursday, Friday won't that be sweet after all the busyness has passed by.
Lord thank you for yet another year. Wishes from family and friends are always amazing, I'm one truly blessed individual to amongst that great company of people that surround me.
Back to work!
-Lloyd
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Whose Listening and Talking?
"In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction."
Paul's charge to Timothy is pretty unambiguous! I have one question, Has God ever acted apart from His Word (Psalm 33:6; Psalm 138:2; John 1:1, Eph 6:17;Heb 1:1-3)?
In the name of relevance today, people do not hear (Rom 10:14); Christians remain infant and cannot go on to spiritual maturity (Heb 6:1-3). The consequences of being relevant apart from the word of God are inescapable. God has never acted apart from his Word or the Trinity for that matter. Who are we to make decisions what parts of Bible we choose to neglect or wrangle because it is unpopular and offensive?
Many people deserted Jesus upon hearing the truth. Here's an example of one such occasion when Jesus feed the five thousand John 6:25-66. Jesus came to give dead people life and that they may have life abundantly.
Sadly the warning of 2 Timothy 4:3 is deafening ,pop culture has spoken. The reality is obvious, its a question of life or death. Preach the Word continually with patience and instruction. For we are under God's authority and will be held accountable by His beloved and begotten Son, Jesus Christ who gives dead people life.
-Lloyd
Thursday, January 22, 2009
South Africa
I always longed for the day...
The month, the year...
December 24, 2008 -January 7th 2009, I had the blessed holiday in South Africa. Short yes but the wait was well worth it. Spending time with family and some with friends was awesome. To think I have been almost away for 4 years, how time fly's.
I also learned something new, Canada is the place God wants me to be at the present time. After the 3 almost 4 years of yearning to back home, longing to see the faces of family and friends I love, the recent holiday trip, thanks be to God that my desire was well satisfied but...While I was in South Africa could not stop to think of the people I've got to know in Canada during the years of absence in South Africa.
I had everything in South Africa, lot of godly brothers and sisters, a church, bible study group yet when it came to serving God not just on mission trips I was a pew warmer. In Canada, I served him in ways I never imagined. After a year of maybe a knowing a handful of Christians, God has been faithful and answered my prayers. I would never have known such people existed, a rare species. God has introduced to many more. I'm truly thankful and fortunate, they all have been such a blessing to me. For all the drama I've been through in Canada, starting a new life from scratch, health, car accident I have come to be more depended on God, praying continually and getting deeper and deeper in God's amazing Word. I have grown a lot as the person He wants me to be. I think that this very fact is the most important of them all.
I close with Jeremiah 9:23-24
23 This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
24 but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.
-Lloyd
Monday, October 20, 2008
Where to from Here?
With all my failings, weaknesses, God is the source and strength of my salvation. The last few blog posts have dealt about being an Image Bearer of God. After a week of encouragement, Godly rebuke: What Do I? Where must I go? The lack of control freaks me out but the reality of not knowing, trusting God and letting Him guide me in the darkness excites me because It's about His Glory and His Story, not my story to keep using His resources. Psalm 119, 9-16 : The How
verse 12-15, "Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways."
In essence storing up his Word in my heart and reflecting on Him. John Piper said the most practical way to start is by memorizing scripture, storing His Word in our hearts. The words I want to memorize is Psalm 119: 105;
Monday, September 29, 2008
Idle Person or Image Bearer?
Reading The Silence of Adam by Dr. Larry Crabb, Dr Crabb makes a great observation,"I wonder if we have, in our day, lost the excitement and Drama of our calling: to reveal the unseen God by the way we live, especially by the way we relate to one another. The single most important truth about people is the truth most easily ignored: that we bear the image of God. As image bearers, we are called to tell his story with our lives, not to tell our lives, not to tell our stories with his resources..."
Now granted, this excerpt came from a book intended to speak to men but I think the biblical principle of being an image bearer (men and women of God) should not be overlooked. Broken people, in a broken world bent on the grace and mercy of God. Why do I chose to hide my brokenesses? We are a church because of what God has accomplished through the death and ressurection of Jesus. There are many things Grace stands for, here's one: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Its not about us. Its about what God has done for us. So what do I have to lose when sharing our vulnerabilities with fellow brothers and sisters?
We are called to tell his story with our lives, not to tell our lives, not to tell our stories with his resources. Hmm...How can we bring encouragement to one another if God's story with our lives if our self image is the focal pont?
-Lloyd
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Idle Person
Have we become a church, the people, who try to preserve our own image idol to compensate for the brokeness we have inside? I know I do. Problems begin to build that were once buried in a closet and when they surface its like banging your head on a brick wall.
to be continued....
-Lloyd
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Holiday in Seattle USA 1
-Lloyd
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Madiba turns Magic 90
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian
When circumsances become overwhelming in a god forsaken or atheistic state, where the environment is hostile, it is call to courage to take refuge in our King Jesus and in His Word, the hope we all share in. The journey of faith is also challenging, dare say seem impossible at times. Sometimes we are called to walk alone, along a path we not seen before. The more we learn to trust God in the little we know, it is then we begin to grow and thats the joy of faith for me. Our trust in Him depeens, we see the things we hate about ourselves and marvel, at the Majesty of our King Jesus and learn something new about His Glory and Splendour.
“But every year you grow, you will find me bigger,...It is hard for you, little one," said Aslan. "But things never happen the same way twice." (Aslan speaking to Lucy). The theme song of the movie, written by Switchfoot-This is Home reiteriates this theme and our longing for eternity. I'll post the lyrics under comments (guess the long entry makes up for the lost time)!
-Lloyd